I'm beginning to feel very alone in my feelings and would like to know what you all think about this.
My husband has 1 child who resents me. For example, she wanted all the "steps" to sit on the 2nd row at her wedding. She wanted her "mommy and daddy" together (as if that were the case). We were married 20 years when this happened! I felt that my husband should have put his foot down and insisted that me, his wife, sit next to him. Thoughts?
I have 2 children, grown and gone as well. My daughter has this resentment towards me that she seems bent on venting with whomever will listen. My husband will always stay neutral and will not ever stick up for me. He just tells her that she has to talk to me. If she continues her ranting on me in front of him, he just disappears and doesn't come to my defense.
Am I out of line in thinking that he should be standing up for me with a united front?
Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks. C_Love
2 comments:
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As a StepParent, read my blog post:
http://stunewsandphotos.blogspot.com/2006/09/person-isnt-problem-problem-is-problem.html
To save you the click, here's the text:
The Person Isn't The Problem, The Problem Is The Problem
I created a parenting concept for our house, and those I've shared it with have asked that I share it more often. I want you all to know that this is something that I feel strongly about, and that it works well not just for my kids, but for we parents as well. In fact, I find it works in any situation, with any human being, anywhere. As always, your mileage may vary:
The Kid Isn't The Problem, The Problem Is The Problem
When I have a problem that concerns one of my kids (meaning: When I want them to do something that they refuse to do), I see that I have a choice. I could visualize my child standing on the other side of a line, next to The Problem, with me yelling across the line, "Hey, The Problem is yours! You better solve The Problem. Instead, I get myself to stand next to my child, with The Problem alone on the other side of the line, with me putting an arm around my child, saying "Hey, you and me, we're gonna defeat The Problem together." I find that this attitude seems to make my kids feel better about themselves. They feel accompanied during these moments. They feel respected. They feel uniquely empowered. It also minimizes or eliminates shame. Best of all, it greatly reduces the chance that The Problem will be eliminated.
Please note that you can replace Kid with Parent, Brother, Sister, Friend, Neighbor, Boss, Co-worker, Waiter, Sales Clerk, etc.
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